How to Enjoy Your Wife's Circuitous Shopping

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Scouring the entire department store or mall in deep search for something she cannot define exactly, only to end up at the section she first started with. Sounds familiar? Circuitous or roundabout does not accurately describe it. It's more like hacking your way through thick virgin forests or being Voyager 9 gliding aimlessly through outer space. Or was it Voyager 1?

I used to hate going shopping with the wife until I finally saw wisdom in waiting patiently. It's a lost virtue these days, even in church. No one knows how to wait anymore. A precious lost art. I almost lost it, too. But one day I saw light at the end of the long, dark, circuitous tunnel.

So, if you want to enjoy your wife's long-winded shopping, here are things you should do:

1. Pray. Impossible things become possible with prayer. If it can move mountains, perhaps it can move our wive's hearts, too, so they'd see the wisdom in shortened shopping? Don't laugh. Who knows?

2. Accept the facts of life. Accept it. Women shop like that--long, tortuous, wearisome, boring pointless. They're sure to buy from the first store they started with after trying every darn store in the mall. I mean, every darn store. Don't argue, don't reason. Just accept the fact. You'd find life more tolerable and meaningful. Eve probably checked out every tree in Eden but ended up where she started--tree of knowledge. Did Adam complain about Eve's tree shopping?

3. Remember your marriage vows. For better, for worse, remember? That nearly means, "For longer or shorter shopping periods, for circuitous or direct-to-the-point shopping." And we also promised to bear one another "for richer, for poorer." So, never complain how much she spent for lingerie or a weight loss supplement. And finally, "Till death do us part."  You're just made to wait 3 or 4 hours. It's not exactly a life or death situation, is it?

4. Smile. While you're at it, smile. Your wife counts so much on your full support. I finally got my smile right after hours and years staring at big mirrors in department stores, checking how my smile looked, adjusting it accordingly.

5. You love her, don't you? I mean, why did you marry her in the first place if you didn't love her? No logic in that. Now, since you love her so much that you went through all the challenges to marry her, what's 3 or 4 hours of tedious shopping?