Sticking to an Inclination

Seeing the Other Truth

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Now, let's get a little deeper and wade through farther where the waters can drown. Unhealthy mind (yung me saltik sa utak, which is madami ngayon) and unhealthy social life (bida-bida ka) clearly makes you blind to reality. You barely see yourself, other people and situations as they really are. You form your own "reality" and "truth" based on how you want to see things, defective perceptions blurred by a sick understanding of things. 

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I've watched people who otherwise behaved normally (or I thought they did) headstrongly insist on minor, trifling things as if the planet's survival entirely depended on them. Like having a worship program before any worship can happen, or opening in prayer before starting anything in church. Okay, I was also numbed before by senseless traditions, but after seeing Jesus start things in the bible without opening prayers, I quickly snapped out of it.

Continuing in opening or closing prayers or making a big deal of worship programs after seeing Jesus had none of these things would simply mean "meron kang saltik," and for some reason you can't get out of it. You're doomed and still believe you're doing right.

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An unhealthy mind and social life will never develop interest or even pay attention to truth, particularly God's truth. They'd stick to made-up truth. And often, a claim to being Christian, born again or spiritual has no apparent remedial effect to rectify this. Even so many Christians and pastors are narcissistic. They're just interested in what they think and do something else when someone else is talking. 

Most "believers" adapt comfortably to a mindset unfit for Jesus' social life and way of thinking. Paul once wrote, "Consider others better than yourself." Narcissists would insist that verse on you--to consider them better than you are, always.

How do you know you're afflicted? Simply watch out for the symptoms: 

1. You love to get the credit so you always try to prove yourself. 
2. You cannot simply keep quiet when what you did resulted to something outstanding. You have to let everyone know it was you.
3. You direct all conversations to your dearly beloved self and achievements.
4. You seldom listen to others but demand attention when you speak. This is among worse mental illnesses, I think. It's a subtle type of saltik.
5. You have poor attention span, especially when others speak. You often cut them short to have your say. It's related to number 4.
6. You'd do anything, even enslave yourself, to get the approval of people you esteem and adore. 
7. You idolize the great or wealthy (most pastors bow down to pastors with mega churches) and want to be like them.
8. You hate to be the least (this is stage 4 self conceit, which is sometimes asymptomatic).
9. You regard people with respect based on their earthly accomplishments, titles and degrees, possessions and incomes. Their spiritual standing (or character) means little to you, if any.
10. You condescend with people who you think fail your intellectual or scholastic standards. 

People with these symptoms cannot see truth, or see things as they really are. And some are symptomless to the carrier. They test positive but exhibit signs to the contrary. They seem kind, meek, compassionate, selfless and pro-others. This is why people believe and follow them when they speak their own versions of truth. They are looked on as "leaders." Add to that their outstanding credentials. Yup, they're often smart.

Western Jesus

Which brings to mind people who de-spiritualize Jesus and his ministry, trying to turn him into a western philosopher or theologian instead of a supernatural Kingdom Person. They belittle any talk about the supernatural ministry of Jesus and the spiritual things of the Holy Scriptures. They dwell on its logical aspects instead---or rather, rid the bible of anything supernatural altogether and make us believe it's all logic, intellectual acuity and philosophy. Many bite the bait.

When I watch most preachers on Youtube, Facebook or in churches, they sound more like western theologians or Greek philosophers than Jesus or the apostles. For instance, while Jesus claimed that he couldn't say anything except what he heard the Father say in real time (the Holy Spirit likewise didn't speak on his own but spoke only what he heard), preachers prepare their homiletical sermon outlines, practicing what they'd say beforehand, and rely on their hermeneutics for meaning. They decide before hand what happens and become predictable. 

Jesus or the apostles never talked about any system of hermeneutics. He said just one thing: 

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. [John 14.26]

You see his mindset? A healthy mind in Christ will get all his or her knowledge solely from the Holy Spirit---because Jesus said HE will teach us all things, not "some things." When Jesus says "all things" it means nothing is left for man's theology or hermeneutics or bible schools to teach us. Anyway, Jesus introduced his discipleship system to prepare disciples to apostleship, not bible school or seminary or their professors. The apostles never learned from professors or had to pass exams to graduate. And Titus and Timothy learned from their spiritual father, Paul, (again) not from professors. 

Even if you point these things to "believers" today--especially those tainted by church tradition and denominational doctrines--they'd just shrug their shoulders and keep on with their thing.

[Continued]

Social Mindset that Secures Your Space

How do you think and behave when you're with other people, especially those you're not comfortable or don't agree with? Is it right to adjust yourself to them? Should you remain yourself even if it means conflict? Or should you simply leave and go scot free? I'd love the last option, but I also do not want to develop escapism. Facing challenges strengthen your social mindset. And you? What would you do?

Photo by kylie De Guia on Unsplash.

The right thing is to do all three above, to my mind at least, because it always does the trick. Through my career and ministry years, I've come so familiar using all three. A little adjustment here and there, remaining yourself, and then getting out of there ASAP. It works for me, and may work for you, too. Who knows? So listen up. 

Mindset

In case you're not aware, you need a firm mindset when dealing with people. Most young people do not have this yet so they simply tag along and ride every wave of opinion or fad. They think there's always strength or assurance in numbers. So they often follow others' rules and standards. And a lot of predators love this. Predators or "lecturers" as I call them, love people easy to control and dictate to, or mindless followers.

So I've developed my social mindset since I was in high school when I attended evening classes in a public school and met a lot of thugs, bullies, crooks, gangs and hoodlums in the vicinity. Even real killers in college. But I beware especially predators who intrude into private lives to impose their rules and standards. They kill your potentials. 

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Much later in college, as a working student and out of college doing full-time jobs, I learned that life in general is like my evening class high school days--full of thugs and bullies. Yeah, even in church when I started pastoring. But through it all I managed to survive well, even comfortably, especially when I learned about people, human behavior, frailties, foibles and idiosyncrasies,  personalities, and social mindsets. Knowing what real life is all about.

Believe me, it's a battle of social mindsets out there. It's what life in this world is basically. If you don't develop a strong social mindset and use it to face the world, you'd become people's slave, especially those fond of controlling people. They're everywhere. They're social hunters preying on the weak and gullible with their "good intentions."

A mindset is an established set of attitudes (or a system of thinking and responding) you have assumed and developed and keep on improving as you learn from mistakes and gain maturity in life. You have to decide on one, derived from your self-realization, experiences and constant learning. It's something you acquire or assume, not imposed by somebody or anything. Most especially, it's God's design for you. If you seek him with all your heart, he'll show you the social mindset fit for you. I'm 100 percent sure. 

Adjusting Yourself

First off, this is NOT about compromise. I hate compromise, though in certain conditions it happens. I let it happen if it does not compromise my principles. Is that possible? Yup. When you have learned a lot about facts of life like I have, you'd know. It comes with wisdom, seeing how this life is not about you but about God. But that's for another blog post.

It's something like this--if you're inside a crowded train and someone outside squeezes himself in, sometimes you need to consider him and adjust a little so he'd fit in. Part of caring for others. Did you surrender your space to him? Nope. You're still in the train, but (in your mercy) you just considered his plight. God has mercy on the merciful. The guy may badly need to beat a deadline or something. You never know. So, consider. Adjust. Often, genuine maturity is flexibility, not rigidity.

Often, genuine maturity is flexibility, not rigidity.

During conflicts or relational frictions the same may be true. Often, just a little fine tuning is all it needs. Temporary small changes or considerations. It's something like what the bible says about "considering others better than yourself." Something like Jesus' selflessness, like when he allowed some elders to convince him to help the centurion.

The elders pleaded, “He is worthy to have you do this for him, 5 for he loves our nation, and he is the one who built us our synagogue.” 6 And Jesus went with them. [Luke 7]

Remaining Yourself

As you adjust a bit, make sure to remain yourself, too. Intact. The minimal change is just temporary. Never lose yourself to people, particularly manipulators. To do this, you often need to be tough, even look mean and intimidating, the look that says, "I'm nice and kind but don't push it. I'm a bad enemy." Not exactly but something like that. Because a lot of fools out there won't know their limit if you don't set it for them. They're bound to eat your arms if you allow them your finger. My martial arts and streetfighting training have saved me lots of times from them.

Jesus said the strong man is hard to conquer unless someone stronger dispossesses him of his "whole armor" in which he trusted. That says a lot about social mindsets. [Luke 11]

But an exception is when the Lord leads you to closely follow a discipler in a discipleship as that discipler also closely follows and imitates Jesus Christ. You submit to him but again make sure your individuality remains intact. Only the Holy Spirit has the right to change people who submit their wills and lives to him. A mature discipler will be aware of social mindsets and private spaces and respect them. But again, that's a different story. 

You have to guard your self, your individuality (the one God wants for you), because many will try to dismantle it and impose their own, thinking they are duty-bound to do it. Believe me, many people are greedy manipulators and control maniacs, often without realizing it. But sadly sometimes, you need to adjust a little bit even for them. But just a little bit. You need to remain yourself. You will learn the perfect balance as you mature in life.

Just Leave

The last one is my favorite. Just leave. After you become a bit considerate but keeping your individuality intact, just go. You can pass through danger zones but there's no reason to stay. And when I say "leave" it may mean physically or mentally--or both. It's so easy to leave the scene physically and disappear. But in real life, you're bound to cross paths again. So you should learn to leave mentally and emotionally more than physically. Moreover, there are people who leave social predators physically but remain their slaves mentally and emotionally. 

Better yet, train how to leave predators and manipulators spiritually.

Implied

Often, a social mindset is implied. You don't announce to people your life rules, behavior, likes and dislikes, preferences or response. You project it through your person and daily dealings. So you need to always be your true self. As you interact with people, they see your unique character and person. Then they adjust accordingly, and vice versa. You also need to adjust to respect others' privacy and person. Thus, a lot of times, you need to show firmness, boldness and toughness (even meanness) especially to those who'd go overboard and try to control you. 

In my case, my real self is jolly, joking and cool, but I'm also often quiet and simply listening. I never put myself forward or make myself conspicuous. I'd rather be in the backdrop. A follower. But through martial arts training I "take charge" of things of my personal concern, and I can be rudely frank and honest, sometimes naturally looking mean, intimidating and alert, though relaxed and tame. People see this and act towards me with precaution, even supposedly tough people. Bad people feel my stares and have second thoughts. This is the effect of my social mindset. It's vital for survival. It's always a jungle out there.

Do You Think Independently?

Don't let them make you think you're thinking independently. 

With easy access to social media today, there's a strong tendency to simply go along with whatever is in trend--gossip, bashing, personal interests or opinion, and even the news--and they tell you how listening to them makes you an independent thinker. News today is usually whatever interest or propaganda a news agency or journalist is supporting. And people just mindlessly take that in. This is where you need to be a non-joiner. 

Photo by Ante Hamersmit on Unsplash.

Just because something is in the news reported by a mainstream or popular news service doesn't necessarily mean it's outright factual. It may be based on facts or reliable information but it's apt to be infested with twists and add-ons to suit a particular partisan interest, like big pharma, politics, religion, big business and the like. 

You Decide What's "Impartial"

So you need to bear this in mind. There's no real "impartial" or "objective" journalism. Even honest ones are apt to have subjective shades to it, because news reporters and writers are human. So are their editors, though they may try to be as objective and impersonal as possible. But it's good that they try.

So what's the lesson here? 

Get all sides and then decide for yourself. Don't just take their word for it. Don't let others decide for you or just ride on the bandwagon. What you conclude in the end should be what you see as truth. Your bias. And then keep that truth to yourself, and possibly your family. Don't go out and broadcast or engage. Just make sure you do your research--get all sides of an argument, as it were. As many sides as possible. 

What History Should You Believe?

Like the so-called Marcos ill-gotten wealth, martial law and EDSA Revolution. Or how the Aquinos performed in office, how Leni fared as VP or the issue on Cory Aquino and the Carmelite sisters. They're all trying to present their own versions today, their own "truths." Read about them, listen to testimonies, and try to dig deeper if you have the time, and then decide open-mindedly. No emotions, not even for the sake of nationalism. 

Truth knows no nationality.

Non-joiners have the ability to make unbiased, intelligent decisions through practice. Learn to weigh things fairly each time, remaining disinterested in any issue to get at truth as much as possible. I sometimes still get tangled emotionally with partisanship, but manage to discipline myself and snap out of it--because it's so vital, to keep your mind clear and healthy. You do it because you love yourself. 

Respect Others' Biases

Most folks are rabidly biased, you can be sure of that 99.99 percent of the time, though they'd insist they're not. It's impossible to be unbiased without being a trained non-joiner like Jesus. Nonetheless, you need to respect others' biases, though they won't yours. Yeah, you have a lil bit of bias in you though you may deny it--but it's true. No matter if you're a non-joiner. We all have it. Even God has bias, for obvious reasons. He's not neutral about sin.

But keep your bias as little and less obvious as possible. Your bias is not important to others. Don't think they're interested to hear about it. Don't insist on them except when people who love to control others start imposing their biases on you. Respecting their bias doesn't mean you approve them or give them space in your mind. It simply means you let them be, hanging on to their biases as much as they want without challenging them. To each his or her own. De gustibus non est disputandum.

How to Think Independently

Here's my take for thinking independently:

1. Research well before you believe something.
2. Keep things to yourself, except when questioned.
3. Ignore those who challenge your bias. No one becomes smarter just because he has a "better" bias. They just think they're smarter. They're not. 
4. Keep reading different stuff, especially the bible.
5. When people begin to wonder about your bias and, of their own accord, ask you about it, be willing to share (but do not insist. Stay disinterested).  It will happen. Your quiet stubborn preference will naturally surface conspicuously and prod some people to ask. It happened to Jesus. It happens to me.

I have a deep bias for Jesus and his teachings. No matter what detractors say, I keep a narrow (or zoom-in) focus on Jesus. Yup, I guess you may say I'm too narrow-minded when it comes to my leaning or bias for Jesus. And nothing can change that, not even those who say they're for Jesus but actually aren't. I'm an independent thinker. Are you?

You Forget Things But Your Memory is Sharp. Sound Familiar?

You forget things but your memory is actually sharp. It's crazy but it's true, at least of me. Sometimes I tend to forget about certain things but I often have a photographic memory of events, to the detail. I amaze my pre-school classmates when I tell them events in our school days so vividly and accurately which they have forgotten and slowly remember only with the help of my stories. [Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash].

"You remember all that?" they ask me astonished. 

Because I tell them what they wore, what exactly they said, their facial expressions, who were present, what the occasion was and what they we holding in their hand at the time. Things like that. Then slowly the pieces come together in their minds and they get a picture of it, though still a bit hazy. "Yeah, I think I remember that!" they exclaim. 

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But I sometimes easily forget what I'm told. And I smile and shake my head in wonder. 

Finally, one day I figured it out. I tend to forget what's not important to me and remember in detail what my mind considers as dear and vital. Like how my girlfriend (now my wife) smiled at me when I invited her for pizza after her lab duty then. Or how my dad drank coffee on his rocking chair by the window when I was 6. Or how my childhood buddies on the street where we lived in La Loma looked like. 

Once, I met on FB a childhood neighbor I played with some 50 plus years ago. I asked her if she remembered me and how her siblings were doing. She was fascinated that I still remembered their names and faces. "How could you remember us all?" she asked.

And I remember the stories my dad told me in detail, especially stories of his childhood and career as a young professional. I remember how he worded them, his face as he said them, his excitement and how his eyes moved while he searched his data bank in his head for details. I'm so good at noting such details. But I often easily forget where I placed my pen I was using just a second ago.

And finally, Holy Scriptures. When I read the bible, I feel I'm taken away back to the time the story in the bible had happened and I see every detail--like I'm watching a movie, or I'm right there in the midst of it all. Sometimes, I even become part of it. I remember the details. But often, I'm poor at memorizing verses, though at times I can manage fairly well. Sometimes.

I remember seeing somewhere (see?) that the mind chooses what it remembers. What it thinks is important it stores in an apt, easily accessible compartment in your brain, but what it sees as unimportant it stashes away in some remote corner of the brain, making them hard to retrieve. 

God is wonderful, making the brain work like that. It helps you arrange data in the brain from most relevant to just relevant, from mildly relevant to mildly irrelevant, from simply irrelevant to very irrelevant. It relaxes your mind this way. You conveniently forget what causes stress and suitably remember what causes happiness--if you let it do its job.

But once you interfere with the brain so that you reverse its operation--you insist on remembering the unimportant--the things that cause you pain or unhappiness--then you reverse the process. Then you get overstressed.

Not many people really respect your opinion or life principle. They want you to agree with their say or join them. You have to like their posts but they never like yours. Well, long ago I decided to be a NonJoiner. I don't care what they think.

Run Your Own Mind

Go out and run for you mind! Do it regularly! Every now and then, when I have too much typing on the keyboard, I stand up and go out to brisk walk or run. It gives you renewed brain strength and even better creativity. When you go back to your seat, you get new ideas and feel better about everything!

Photo by Juliano Ferreira: www.pexels.com

Why so?

Because you breathe in more fresh air. The more oxygen you get into your lungs (fill lung capacity!), the more food you give your brain cells. Your cells feed on oxygen, among other things. After running, slow down a bit doing deep breathing. Don't stop abruptly--walk around and deep breathe. That's a lot of oxygen intake. And that strengthens your brain so that your mind works excellently. Not only that, your whole body benefits from the action. Go out and run more often. Run for your mind!

At the office--when I was still an employee--I stood up and left my desk and hit the stairs up and down. That was my "coffee" break. Going from home to the office and back, I brisked walk and took longer routes, enjoying the sights. That's besides my regular workout. It's vital to enjoy what you're doing. It shouldn't be sacrifice or punishment. That wouldn't be mind relaxing. What we want is to empower body and mind.

A powerful mind and body work wonders. It makes you more broad-minded, patient, understanding and confident. God designed it that way. I mean, a healthy mind and body makes you contented so you won't need to keep proving your worth to others. Not even to yourself. So you can be working quietly in a corner and yet feel so accomplished and productive. It also makes you laugh more and appreciate clean jokes.

It wasn't mentioned in the bible, but I can easily imagine Jesus often running in the great outdoors and reflecting. He didn't just walk with God; he ran with God. He climbed mountains with his Father and talked with him there. He rowed boats and swam in the lake. He helped pull heavy fishnets to shore. He hiked a lot. I also think he laughed a lot.

Technology is good, but we let it limit our physical movements so that today there's a proliferation of deadly diseases due to a sedentary life. God designed us to be mobile through the day as a kind of workout to keep us fit and that includes mind activities. Running achieves both excellently. When running, you decide what routes to take and decide how fast or slow you run. Those decision-making activities are good for the brain. More so if you enjoy the sights, analyze and ponder them. 

When a Guy Offers You His Seat--and You're a Man

Way before my senior years, when I still applied hair color (I had white hair at 18), I was sometimes offered a seat on a bus. It was weird, but because I hated embarrasing the guy who offered, I took it, but not before I felt like strongly hesitating. But I decided to think of the guy's feelings first before mine. 

Photo above by Raymond Francisco on Unsplash.

It's somewhat awkward to be offered a seat in public vehicles. Especially if you're a man, still strong and capable and regularly training in martial arts. You think the seat giver deems you too weak or old. Sometimes, you're even insulted. Not anymore today, though, when even young girls are required to give their seats to seniors on MRT or LRT trains. 

But sometimes, I get carried away by my adult ego and silliness. So, instead of being grateful I sometimes smirk, feeling slighted. You try to stand up tall and upright--flex some muscles which I still have somehow--to show I'm not as senior as I look. I can have that stupid option, but thank God I manage not to anymore. What will I do without GOD?

George Sistonen

Let's go back in time. I often found myself in the situation. A nice young guy would see my white hair and conclude outright that I was a senior. I really appreciated young men like that and I had to take the offer gratefully even if I didn't deserve it. (It took me lots of mind-setting before I was able to do this).

Oh yeah, and there were young ladies, too, who did this for me. Gee, I don't know--did I look that old or did they just have a crush on me? 😅

I never explained myself, how I was not yet a senior citizen--how I still could manage and all that--because I didn't want to embarrass good kids just to save myself from looking old. My wife did, trying to spare me from the old-age stigma, but I believed a closer look at me spoke for itself. So, there it was, some nice young person offering me his or her seat, but when I moved to take the seat while the train was moving fast they realized I was not yet that senior. I could be Spiderman.

Sometimes, with my slightly athletic build they realize I don't deserve it. In fact, they need it more than I do. But it'd be too late by then. I already accepted the offer. I'd see them regret for a while (I see it written on their faces) but they recover quickly, sigh and look away, probably just thinking of nice, positive things instead of dwelling in their misjudgment. Conscience stricken, I offer the seat as soon as a much older person gets in. Then I see everyone in the train gets relief. Yup, everybody there is affected.

Sometimes, it's difficult to accept help from others if you think doing it shows your weakness--or eats up something from your manhood, adulthood, seniority or profession. But actually, it only shows how you need to be released from some wrong thinking. Lots of folks need to be set free from this. It's perfectly all right to accept help, and do so cheerfully with gratitude. Today, I still rarely ask help from people, but when they offer it, I humbly and gratefully accept.

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In fact, it's manly to allow others get a chance at honor by helping you. It's great to be a stepping stone to their feeling of heroism and usefulness. Some folks say people offering me their seats is a sign it's time I dye my hair black. What? And forfeit myself of the opportunity to lift others up? No way. And besides, that will just be added expense on my part. If I don't allow them that, where would they step on to get to the next stepping stone?

Mindset Virus that Makes you Rabid

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I Though I knew But I Didn't

My dad told me never to support all-out any election candidate. Just vote wisely and that's it, he stressed. I was fresh out from college then and actively among street marchers protesting against Marcos, and later the US Bases. I reasoned and told him, I wasn't being a candidate fan. I was just after important national issues. I was young, naive and idealistic.

Well, later I discovered his wisdom in keeping away from politics. After all, he wasn't a nationally acclaimed veteran journalist for nothing. He was editor-in-chief of The Philippines Herald in pre-martial law years, a majoy daily that government, politicians and big businesses reckoned with, and later consultant at the national and foreign information of the defunct Ministry of Information. He knew. Nothing's worth marching for in the streets. You risk your life for what? It's important to know the issues and know where you stand--love your country--but fighting for "heroes" and "issues" in the streets will just benefit some unscrupulous politician in the end. They're all the same.

Dad Knew

His life principle was keep improving yourself intellectually and help people. Period. Later, when he devoted time to reading the bible, he developed a relationship with Jesus, believing nothing except GOD's Word. When we talked, I saw his new life principle--it's GOD's Word or nothing. He read current events (journalism was in his blood) to keep updated but his main conncern was what GOD said in the bible.

Anyway, dad had been telling me: You risk your neck out there so that later, when the dust clears, some unworthy politician takes his seat in Malacanang or in Congress to enrich himself in office. "They're all the same," my dad warned me. I only regret it took me years doing stupid things before I learned he was right. Well, better that than nothing. Yup, politics has an unseen virus that makes all politicians of the same spirit in the end, and affects their avid fans as well. Well, especially them. So DON'T be an avid fan of any "hero" politician. Dad knew well what he was talking about, after many, many decades of covering politicians and officials and interviewing them as a news reporter and later as a head editor of a major daily, even being friends with them (but not allies).