Saying "I Don't Mind" and "So What?"

When we care not what happens or what the result would be, we say, "I don't mind." It can be a strong response against bashing or criticism or a weak one that allows opportunists entry into your privacy, even your very life. So think twice (even 10 times if you have the time) before you say it. Or, opt for its better alternatives.

Photo by Dillon Shook on Unsplash.

Nod

I prefer saying "okay" with a slightly vague, emotionless facial expression than saying "I don't mind."  Or simply a nod, or a quick raise of the eyebrows which in Manila may mean, "Okay for now but not always." Ambiguity is a stance that keeps people off balance when dealing with you. They're not sure where they stand, something like you neither confirm nor deny. When they're kept guessing like that, you always have the upper hand.

I give definite responses only to folks I really trust, like Jesus. And my wife and kids. But to the rest, I give something like what Jesus often says: "Those who have ears to hear, let them hear." Let them think and wonder, not the other way around, you wondering about what they say. That state of being lost for words or indecision causes them delay and loses head start. 

This is far as protecting yourself from carpetbaggers or opportunists, or when someone tries to trick you or wants to be a smart Aleck to you. Avoid saying "I don't mind" to them. They're going to eat you whole. However, it can be a powerful counter against folks who try to belittle you. Better yet, instead of "I don't mind," I'd say, "So what?"

Or simply, "So?"

So What?

We all have bashers, or are bound to. Even Jesus had them, and they crucified him. I guess no one's exempt. What's the best response? "So what?" It's the best and most apt. Second is, "I don't mind," which sounds kinder, tamer and diplomatic. But I don't want to be kinder, tamer or diplomatic with bashers or detractors. I want a direct show of bold nonchalance and disinterest. 

When Pilate mockingly asked Jesus if he was king, Jesus simply said, "Your words, not mine." Something like, you said it, it must be true, I don't have to answer because you're saying so yourself. It makes you feel stupid. Smart for mock. To me it's another version of "So what?" and it's the same thing if you asked me. Yeah, there was the respect for Pilate, being the governor, but it sounded pretty much like, "So?" 

Something like:

Q: Are you the king of the Jews?
A: So what If I am?

The big IF there is saving you from sounding conceited or too assuming. You're not saying you are king, but you're playing with the idea that, so what if you are? Then you thrown him back the question: "You want to be king, too? Suit yourself. No need to be envious."

The big difference between "So what?" and "I don't mind," is the defiant and uncompromising tone that the former has. It even hints of, "Mind your own business" and "What are you going to do about it?" It's what bashers and detractors fully deserve so you can be protected against them, while you're neither being offensive nor defensive.

"I don't mind," on the other hand, is too accommodating. If said to the wrong person, you've just trapped yourself and possibly opened a Pandora's box. It's close to putting up security for a stranger, or vouching for a total stranger on how reliable or trustworthy he is, which Proverbs say is a definite no-no. It's a sure trap.

Whoever puts up security for a stranger will surely suffer, but whoever refuses to shake hands in pledge is safe. [11.15]

Refusing "to shake hands in pledge" is like saying, "So what?" to conceited, bigheaded critics who aim to put you down or disparage you for their vainglory. Yup, there are lots out there, smart Alecks who display their imagined genius and use you to do it. There are sincere critics, mind you, but there are cocky ones--those who give their unsolicited and stupid negative comments to show their supposed wit. 

Quiet

The best thing about the "So what?" response is its expressive, eloquent, unequivocal and defiant nature even if you don't say it at all. Its message is loud and clear even with its quiet gesture. When the Pharisees accused Jesus of a lot of lies, he kept mum, didn't say a word. But it actually spoke volumes that made the religious leaders feel agitated, insulted and more insecure. It was nothing short of defiance without actually being so--or saying so. His silence loudly said, "So what?" 

Reaching Out with Clear Boundaries

Though a non-joiner, I need to reach out to other people, especially other non-joiners who aren't familiar with the territory yet. I try to reach out even to smart Alecks who avidly believe in their smartness and makes them so repulsive to people and avoided. They're NOT non-joiners--they love to join and belong--but they're rejected given their narcissistic disposition. 

But I always approach people with extreme caution--sometimes with extreme prejudice when I lose my guard. But then I realize it and revert to extreme caution 😄. My base nature is a loner, but the Lord showed me I cannot be thus 24/7. He assigned me a task to reach out. Why? Suffice it to say, people's ultimate need is the Lord but they think it's something or someone else. The Lord wants me to share with them that Jesus is who they really need.

But the Lord allows me to be myself sometimes, a loner and a non-joiner. He knows I need it.

But in reaching out, I need to protect myself because so many people think bashing, mocking or arguing is smart. Anything about Jesus to them is stupid, so they see you as an idiot. And they crave taking control of you, dictating what is right and wrong. They love lecturing to you, challenging everything you say. So I myself take care that sharing Jesus with people does not involve control, lecture or dictation. 

This is why non-joiners need to be like Jesus--approachable and empathic to the weak but impish and even offensive to smart Alecks. Sometimes, I'm even crafty and harsh. 

To the faithful you show yourself faithful,
to the blameless you show yourself blameless,
26 to the pure you show yourself pure,
but to the devious (or deceitful) you show yourself shrewd.
27 You save the humble
but bring low those whose eyes are haughty (smart Alecks).

[Psalm 18. 25-27]