What Kind Words Are Not

lifehacker.com

They say we should be kind and speak kind words to people. I agree, primarily because it's what the bible says. Be kind to one another [Ephesians 4.32]. But "kind" is quite different from "nice." What lots of people think is that the two are synonymous. Far from it. Kind is being considerate and gentle, being concerned for others. Nice is being pleasant, or even "subtle" says Google.

Being kind is doing the correct thing gently even if it won't please people. But being nice has only one goal---to please. You do things in a nice way, even if they're wrong, just to please people.

Kind words can end up in different ways--either the recipient gets helped or gets offended. I've seen how kind people ended up blamed or hated because those they tried to help got offended by what they did or said. Being kind connotes boosting what is right, enforcing it, so that an individual gets its benefit. It is never considered kindness when one abets evil by encouraging a wrong doer.

So, sometimes when you do an act of kindness, some people don't like it. But you do it anyway because it's the right thing to do. But you do it kindly--not really to avoid offending people--but because kind ways are right ways.

For instance, King Herod probably didn't realize (if he did, he didn't want to face it, and he needed kind help to do so) his relationship with his brother's wife was bad. So John the baptizer did him an act of kindness--telling him it was unlawful--which cost John his head.

Why was that an act of kindness? Because John wanted to spare him from hell. That's concern for others. If John had been merely a nice guy, he would have merely said, "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for you," avoiding the adultery issue altogether.

Same thing, Jesus wasn't being nice to the Samaritan woman when he brought up the issue of adultery ("the man you're with isn't your husband"), but he was doing an act of kindness by telling her the truth. In God's eyes that is kindness.

Being kind relaxes your conscience or mind because you do right. Being nice relaxes your mind because you get people to like you and appease the conscience of the wrong doer.