Kids are the same no matter what generation they're in. They haven't changed, really. My apo played with a neighborhood kid last Saturday and at once I saw how I and my childhood friend Arturo had played when we were kids. I saw the same patterns and behaviors. [Image above from Robert Collins@robbie36, Unsplash.]
But they always say kids today are different from what kids were back then. Then they say a litany of negatives about kids today and another list in favor of kids in the past, particularly in my time or earlier. But really, what changed is not kids but parenting. I've thought of this about two or three years ago and considered writing about it but procrastinated, until I saw someone else write about it recently. And I couldn't agree more.
Kids are raised up differently today and there's something not right about it somewhere. The error in modern parenting is primarily this--most parents today vow to spare their kids of the hardships they experienced when they were kids. Another thing (and connected to this) is some parents' drive to make their kids number one.
Kids will always be kids--loving play time, excited about adventures, exploring things, doing things themselves, running and climbing, asking questions, eager to learn, eager to try, and spending time studying lessons (when there's nothing more important to do). I've been a school administrator and I observe kids to be the same in any generation. I still see my own childhood in them when I watch them.
They're only made different by today's parenting.
When I was a kid, my dad let me join camping in forests and playing what sports I wanted. I was allowed to get rugged and dirty and hurt. It was nothing when I fell badly from my bike or got bruised from a sport. I was allowed to try things without my parents always watching and keeping me safe from harm (or without them always complaining to the school about how some kids had treated me bad). Today, a kid gets his uniform stained and his parents take him to the doctor at once--or complain at the school office. I'm just exaggerating, but I often see something like this. We pamper them and their pain tolerance gets negatively affected, especially when they grow up.
What would happen to them in teenage or young adult life when we're not around anymore to rescue them from troubles? We should allow them to learn to cope up by themselves. We guide and advice, but they should learn things themselves, especially on coping up, surviving and relating with other people.
As a grade schooler, I learned how to handle bullying from other kids by myself (I was a small kid prone to bullying). I learned to psychologize bullies and defend myself. That helped me manage myself well as I grew up and went to college and worked in offices--without my parents rescuing me from harm.
Scouting was about learning to survive in the woods with just a few essential provisions and scouting tools in hand. Today, parents buy their kids all sorts of groceries and junk food to take to camping, and even make sure they do not forget their pillows and pajamas and teddy bears. Sometimes they have a yaya (nanny) to assist them during camping and carry their bags for them.
We went to school field trips alone and were trained to behave properly. My batch started going to field trips all by ourselves since grade two. But today, parents accompany their kids to field trips and join them wander and loiter around and get lost.
And school projects. My dad or mom NEVER did any of my school projects for me. Very few kids today can make Christmas lanterns (parol framed with bamboo sticks) or kites by themselves. Among projects we did as grade schoolers (I started having projects in grade 3) were leather wallets, door mats, piggy banks made of coconut shells, dustpans and native brooms, and a number of artistic posters. We managed our own vegetable gardens at school and harvested crops we grew ourselves.
I believe that if given a chance, kids today can do the same things, too. I've seen some of them do projects on their own and succeeded. Once, I handled the boy scouts in our school and taught them real discipline and they got it. I taught them how to do art projects right there in their classrooms and they did them well. This is why I don't believe in take-home projects or homeworks. They should do things by themselves at school.
Finally, studying lessons. I started studying lessons by myself when I was in grade 4. Mom helped me a lot (in every detail) when I was in kinder till I was in grade 3. But from grade 4 onward I was given independence, and it worked. And I see how a lot of kids today want the same independence, but their moms won't let them because their moms want them to top the exams.
It isn't bad to help our kids with their studies, but only up to a certain age. If we keep helping them through the higher grade levels and even in high school, they will be lost in college. If we keep saving them from hardships we make them weak and too dependent. We over-help our kids because we hate seeing them suffer, but which our parents never did to us and which made us strong.
Some kids can be number one. We may challenge our kids about this, but it's better to let them grow and develop at their own pace. Often, being top in class or getting awards doesn't mean anything. Being top doesn't always mean you're the best in class. Often, it only means your talents have been honed a bit while others are still doing other things they feel are more important than being top in class. What they call late bloomers.
Nope, kids haven't changed. They're still excited to tackle things by themselves.
