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| Guilherme Cunha |
It's obviously because of better career prospects in foreign countries, especially developed ones, that we're tamer there than in ours. We don't want to miss good opportunities which we deem more probable abroad than at home. Here in the Philippines, losing jobs is not that serious because of the low pay we get from them. Yeah we get upset when we're laid off or fired, but so what? We didn't really lose a lot and we always have a ready fall back--our family. Immediate family support keeps us resilient during unemployment.
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And so with following rules, regulations and laws which most people take for granted because they see how most authorities don't take them seriously anyway. Why don't the latter take them seriously? Because of the low pay. It's the lack of lucrative opportunities. So they resort to corruption to live beyond their means and have some stability in the future. Anyway, there are ways to circumvent laws so easily. And almost no one's really punished for breaking them. So no one's paying attention about discipline.
Where there's corruption like that, there's terrible lack of discipline. You get away with breaking the law by bribing your way to freedom or living above the law. Or simply smiling at your misdemeanor. Or walking away nonchalantly from troubles you caused, like how hired tandem killers do it. When these are rampant, who wants to take anything seriously? So discipline is thrown out the window.
You don't do these things abroad because you don't want bad record or reputation to ruin your opportunities. And you know you're in trouble with the authorities the moment you screw up with the law. So it's often about the prospect to make more money plus seeing how serious the government is with law enforcement. And being away from family. Where these are obvious, we manage to be disciplined.
A fourth reason is our fondness for foreigners or anything foreign. Some call it colonial mentality, some call it politeness or hospitality. We're so enthralled by foreigners, especially their height, that we marvel just seeing them around. I was once walking in Divisoria with my wife's niece and her huge American husband and everywhere we were people's eyes were glued to him like he was a Hollywood celebrity. We love to please foreigners and by that they think we're friendly. Well, in a sense we are, but sometimes it has lots to do with one's nationality.
There's a fourth reason. Our brand of camaraderie. Filipinos are often known to keep good friendship at all cost. We sometimes wonder why our kids behave lots better when they're at their friends' homes than when they're at their own homes. They're more polite and helpful, for instance. More ready to do chores. But at home they're unabashedly displaying odd behaviors and laziness. One reason is feeling homey. They can be themselves because they're around family. The same when Pinoys work diligently abroad but lackadaisical when in the Philippines.
But native camaraderie more often than not makes them behave better. They don't want to ruin good friendships so they take care not to mar good relationships in any way. When they're at their friends' house they cooperate more and are readier to lend a hand. But when at home they're often unreliable and just love idling around. Because they see family as "permanent"--it will remain intact no matter what happens. While friendly relationships are fragile and need careful handling.
There was this young guy who came to our place and helped us a lot with our family projects--gardening, carpentry, cooking, etc. He seemed a very fine young man, very helpful, courteous and respectful with his manners. When I mentioned it to his dad, he frowned and could not believe it. "My boy? Nice and hard working? You must be talking of another kid!" he said. Filipino camaraderie works like that.
And here's a factor we often miss. When someone visits us at home, we tend to treat him well---like talking to him sweetly and nicely and serving him good lunch or dinner. Filipino hospitality. So he feels special and thinks, "Hey they're a really nice family! They're nice to me. I like them!" He grows fond of us and shows us good treatment, too. So we see him at his best. We see him as a "nice kid." Back home, he gets the usual treatment. No nice talk and delicious dinner. I mean, we talk naturally when we're with family and often this means no sweet icing on the cake. We love each other but we talk with honest faces, words and tone of voice. We get scolded upfront. We shout. We tease and fight. We etcetera.
And with dinner---mom often cooks what's within budget and that usually means a not-so-special meal. Good but not that special. Right? No wonder then that we become "nice" when we're at our friend's house. In college I always ate "properly" when in my classmate's house and his parents thought I was a nice young man. Of course, back home, I was not as nice. I ate properly, but not that properly. Why is this? Camaraderie with my classmate. Regular life at home.
The same when working abroad and locally. We perform better abroad because we treasure our new-found work relationships there and like to keep them a long time. Not for anything else but job camaraderie. Well, okay---we might add to it the high pay. Better pay plus camaraderie equals good showmanship. Here at home, we also love the work relationships we have but kind of take them for granted at times because employment is often unrewarding. Pay-wise, that is.
Last reason is reputation. We criticize Filipinos when they're disciplined in other countries but not in theirs. Well, the change is due to patriotism, like it or not. They do their best to change themselves to give us all a good name abroad. They want foreigners to say good things about us. The same way why your teenager behaves well when in another house and not as well when in his or her own house. It's to save the family's reputation. Maintain a good name. And maintain honor to his or her dad and mom.
